There is an enormous amount of shame, ironically, in forgiving the person who has done something awful to you. Yes, society talks a good game about forgiveness and compassion and turning the other cheek and all of that, but in truth, people who forgive are seen as weak, or so damaged that they’ve lost the ability to make such judgements for themselves. (Think of Glee fandom, and how much disgust there has been at the idea of Kurt feeling pain or guilt about Karofsky’s plight: it’s been rampant, and hostile, and very personal.) If you forgive, you’re perceived as having no self-worth. If you move forward with any emotion other than hatred or anger, you are written off, contemptible. The reaction is not just, “I’m worried about you, and what effect this might have on you,” but “What is wrong with you?